The Benefits of Being Single

by sarahgrand

Of course, I would like to have a boyfriend; like most human beings, I like being in a relationship. But yesterday, while putting new ink in my printer, it dawned on me that there are some benefits to being single.

gvvdvzq{Solid chunk of ink…pretty cool, right?}

If you know anything about me, you know that I love my printer. It’s not just a regular printer—it’s a very nice laser color printer that I use to make my printed design work (sarahgrand.com #shamelessplug). I first got my printer in September 2014, when I was still in a relationship with my now ex-boyfriend. Luckily for me, the printer arrived in the mail the very same day he happened to be visiting from Boston. It was a Friday, and that night, instead of going out and doing something more exciting, we stayed in to set up the printer.

I was super adamant about getting the printer set up that Friday because I knew we’d be going out on Saturday and Sunday, and it had to be up and running before he left, because I didn’t think I’d be able to do it myself.

Let me repeat that: I didn’t think I’d be able to do it myself.

We’re talking about a PRINTER here. I have an engineering degree. Granted, my printer may be a bit larger and more complex that your average at-home unit, but seriously, it’s a printer. Not only are printers generally pretty intuitive to set up, they come with something called a manual (not to mention all of the online forums and tutorials available for this particular model).

I had a boyfriend pretty much all throughout college, and before that, I lived at home with my parents. In high school, whenever some sort of new or unpleasant task came up, I had my mom or dad on call to handle it:

  • Bug in the room – Call Dad
  • Car/Miscellaneous Tech Issues – Call Dad
  • Emotional Support/Venting – Call Mom
  • Money Stuff (like setting up a debit card or credit card) – Call Mom

You get the idea.

In college, whoever I was dating sort of took on this role. It wasn’t that I bossed these guys around; it was more that it just seemed natural to me to get help in areas that weren’t exactly my forte, you know? And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. It’s normal to want help or moral support, especially when dealing with tasks you’re not totally comfortable or familiar with.

What I think was wrong about this situation was that I thought I couldn’t do certain things alone that, realistically, weren’t even that challenging (like setting up a printer).

It wasn’t until I became single and moved away from home that I realized I can pretty much do anything on my own, without help from anyone. It wasn’t until I became single and moved away from home that I realized, “I’ve got this.”

During the past year and a half of single-dom in Queens, I’ve:

  • Put new ink in my printer
  • Gone to the mechanic multiple times on my own and sorted out car issues
  • Driven on 4+ hour long car rides to Boston and the Adirondacks (and parallel parked)
  • Set up new furniture in the apartment
  • Planned multiple weekend trips
  • Stayed at a hostel by myself (and made friends with strangers in the common room)
  • Gone to MULTIPLE design events alone, designed a bunch of stuff with no help and no feedback, and got a new website up and running
  • Gone to sleep countless nights without recounting the details of my day to someone

…and a bunch of other stuff.

I understand that, alone, none of these things are anything to be exceptionally proud of. I get that something like parallel parking isn’t a big deal to most people – especially to city natives. But altogether, they show me I’m self-sufficient now, and that’s something I am proud of. I never felt this way when I had someone by my side, always there to help or, if nothing else, to offer moral support. I feel more confident now – more willing to take on challenges – at work, in my hobbies, and in my personal life. I don’t think I would have felt this way, at least not so soon, had I stayed in a relationship.

Quickly, some other benefits of being single include:

  • Getting to do whatever you want during your free time
  • Being able to get dolled up and flirt with a bunch of guys for fun (without feeling guilty you’re doing some really mild form of cheating)
  • Feeling like there’s so much of the unknown ahead of you. I have no idea who I’ll end up with, what they’ll be like, and how they’ll change my life. It’s pretty cool to know that’s all ahead of me, yet to be discovered.

So, if you’re single like me, realize all of the positive things about your situation, and how much you’re growing!

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s article, which will be called “I Don’t Believe in Guilty Pleasures.” Thanks!