Why I Can’t Be a “Foodie”
Nothing against foodies, but I just don’t really get the whole phenomenon. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person under the age of 30 that feels this way. I will list some of the reasons why I can’t be a foodie below, and if anyone relates…let me know! We can go to a diner together one day and order burgers and fries or something.
Reasons Why I Can’t Be a Foodie
- I Eat Way Too Much Food to Be a Foodie
Foodies are first and foremost concerned with the quality of the food they are eating, not the quantity. For me, the priorities are basically reversed. No matter how delicious something is, if the quantity needed to sustain my ravenous appetite is not there, it’s not doing it for me. #QUANTITYOVERQUALITY
- I’m Not Calm Enough About Food to Be a Foodie
Did you ever notice that foodies are generally really calm about food? Like they eat their food really slowly and politely to savor it? Me? For some reason, I’m a literal barbarian when it comes to food. Especially if I’m really hungry –then I definitely lose some of my human qualities and stuff gets weird. This probably isn’t a good thing, but I’m just keeping it real on this blog. I’m definitely not calm enough about food to be a foodie.
- I’m Too Cheap About Food to Be a Foodie
Maybe it’s because my mom cooked for my family every night as a kid, but going out to eat, or even getting takeout, seems like a bit of a “treat” to me—not something you do every day. I could probably afford to spend a little more money on food than I do, but I’m just not comfortable with it. Regardless of cost, it’s ingrained in my head that having someone else prepare food for me is kind of a luxury. Foodies seem to have no problem with going to restaurants or buying prepared food multiple times a week though. Quality food is very important to them, so they don’t mind making it a budgetary priority.
- I Honestly Don’t Mind Eating Questionable Food
I’m actually pretty picky about the types of food that I like. I don’t eat too much weird stuff. Chicken, pork, or beef? I’m cool with it. Whale? Alligator? DOG? I’m sorry, but I can’t. When it comes to stuff that I actually like though, pretty much anything goes. I’m not a snob about it. For example, I like pizza. Whether you give me a $1 frozen Celeste personal pie, a slice that’s been sitting behind the glass wall of a Ray’s Pizza for 12 hours, or some delicacy prepared by a master chef from Italy, honestly…it’s all cool with me. I mean, like anyone else, I have my preferences, but when it comes to stuff that I like, as long as it’s relatively edible, I’m in.
- I Don’t Have a Yelp Account
I feel like it takes a certain kind of personality to pretend you work for the NY Times Food & Wine section and write critical yelp reviews, and that’s just not me. So that’s another major reason why I can’t be a foodie.
I wasn’t trying to judge foodies here, I was just trying to explain why I can’t be a foodie. There’s nothing wrong with foodies. If anything, they’re probably one evolutionary level ahead of barbarians like me. But in all seriousness, non-foodies like myself are not less intelligent or less sophisticated than their counterparts. They just have a different relationship with food.