by sarahgrand

I’m almost 25 years old, and I’m starting to get to that “special age” where people (extended family members, older coworkers, random people at the dental office, etc.) are asking me if I have a boyfriend.

When I tell them that I don’t, they oftentimes share words of reassurance with me, and offer to set me up with someone such as their “nice nephew with a full time job.” Now, I get that these people are just trying to be nice and help, but whenever something like this happens to me, it honestly really freaking bothers me. Because it feels like these people are pitying me, and acting as if the only reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because no man on the planet likes me. PUHLEASE, if I wanted a boyfriend like your nice nephew, I could probably have one.

I say this with total confidence because I know of a few extremely nice, intelligent, caring guys that have recently expressed genuine interest in me. My brain tells me that these guys are complete catches, and I should probably go out with one of them before someone else snatches them up. But I just can’t bring myself to do it, because my brain and my heart never seem to be on the same page.

As you can see in the diagram I made below (I have a life I swear…), my brain tells me that I should go for a nice, hard-working, successful guy with similar core values. My heart, on the other hand, tells me I should basically go out with a rock star. Unfortunately, Dave Grohl appears to be the only man in the universe in the intersecting part of the Venn Diagram, and he’s ridiculously famous, married, and has three children (no biggie).

It seems my brain and heart have been on different pages my entire life. Like most young girls, I always seemed to have a thing for the “bad boys” at school. But now, unlike most girls my age, I haven’t seemed to fully outgrow it, and at almost 25, I’m not sure if I ever truly will. I want someone that satisfies both my heart and my brain, but right now, looking at all the people I’m meeting, it feels like I have to choose one or the other.

The question is: do I follow my brain, and try to date someone nice, and see if I surprise myself? Maybe it won’t feel like settling after all? Or do I follow my heart, in the hopes that my own Dave Grohl exists somewhere in the world, waiting for me? PLEASE ADVISE. (ALSO, IF YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND PPL IN THE INTERSECTING PART OF THE DIAGRAM, PLEASE ADVISE ON THAT TOO. KTHXBYE.)